Welcome to Super States. Today I have with me Leonard Lowe. Leonard, welcome to the show.

Hi Josh, wonderful talking to you today.

I’m excited to have this conversation, Leonard. Share with us what you do, how that makes an impact for people.

Passion for Shame-Free Sexuality

Yes, I am so passionate about sexuality and guilt-free, shame-free sexuality. I talk so naturally about it, as if it is something totally normal as it should be. I find a lot of people are very shy, very embarrassed. And I just very naturally talk about it. I think the big part for me is to break down the conditioning around that. That really is what drives me. And I think just by transmitting that experience myself, I find it really helps people.

Specifically on the men’s sexuality part, there’s so much that we should have been taught as boys and at school. So I really love helping men to not just get rid of some problems on performance or performance anxiety or premature ejaculation, but also to get to the next level of their lovemaking potential and their sexuality. To freely and fully express their sexuality and to really naturally do that, because I think it’s such an underlying aspect of our lives. If we execute our sexuality and it’s aligned with the rest of our energy centers and our spirituality, then I think we can really fully show up in this world.

Yeah, I fully support you in this journey that you’re on and what you’re doing. I love it. It’s such an important thing to release that guilt, shame, like all the bullshit stuff that gets there, that happens throughout our life. And like you said, kind of level up, get to that next level. That’s awesome.

Personal Journey and Background

We all have a bit of that, even if we think we don’t. Then you go into some of these workshops and you go, wow, I didn’t realize there was a level somewhere there still. It creeps in so easily. I had a bit of experience of that growing up and in later teenage years about the religious conditioning about it. Sex before marriage going to burn in hell. So I talk from a bit of a personal experience. I only made love or lost my virginity at the age of 21 because I really had this fear. And then after I realized that, wow, this is just terrible conditioning. It is so sad for people not to experience their sexuality.

So you started kind of giving us some little hints here, but share with us your story. How did you get to be a men’s sexuality coach?

From Corporate Career to Sexuality Coach

That’s an interesting story. The sexuality has been a theme throughout my life. I studied law and business and went into a corporate career. By my early 40s, I achieved relatively fast success quickly. I was the CEO of a financial services company and group. At the same time, I started experiencing orgasms without ejaculating. I could really breathe energy up and not ejaculate and then make love for long times.

This just started happening to me. It’s super interesting, these two things at the same time. When this was happening, there was no one I could talk to. Definitely not in a business context in a boardroom. Generally speaking, men don’t talk about sexuality with each other much apart from some boasting.

In my mid-40s, in 2009, I felt a big internal shift in my life. I felt I shouldn’t be doing what I was doing work-wise anymore. I would walk into the office and it felt so inauthentic. I was quite bored with what I was doing. I felt a calling to do something different.

World Journey and Spiritual Exploration

I distracted myself for four years with a lot of what I call sex tracks and jacuzzis, living in Clifton Beach in Cape Town. Eventually in 2012, I just surrendered. I resigned, sold and gave away most of my possessions, bought a one-way ticket to Lima, Peru. That started the five-year journey around the world.

I came into contact with various practices across all areas, from India into sacred geometry and crystal healing to spiritual sexual shamanism in Guatemala, Hawaii, New Zealand, Australia, all over, tantra, Taoist workshops. I realized that what I’ve been living for 20 years of my life is actually ancient Daoist and Tantric principles and techniques to be multi-orgasmic as a man.

Writing and Coaching

In 2018, I came back, wrote this memoir called ‘Jump, an epic soul and sex adventure,’ got published in all the major bookstores in Southern Africa and also on Amazon and Audible. People were reading the book, got very fascinated and started asking me to share my learning. So it wasn’t planned. I never saw this coming. Out of that, I started sharing with men, women, couples, and then it started becoming more men. So now I’m just following that journey, that calling.

I love what I love about that is you’re just basically following what’s showing up for you. And it’s not like you’re trying to make anything happen necessarily. Like you just started listening to the voice, you started just allowing. And I think I saw on your book, you talked about the letting go, the surrendering kind of experience.

Surrendering to Life

Yeah, that’s true. In business, especially 10, 20 years ago and for the last 100 years, it’s always about goals. What’s the goal? What’s the plan? Five-year plan, 10-year plan. My journey around the world was very much like that. I just surrendered to the next learning opportunity. I would just follow the learnings from country to country where it led me.

I’m very much in that space where I’m surrendered to life. I was always living life and it’s almost now as if life is living me. It’s super interesting experience. It’s super scary at times because you go into the unknown. If you have those goals and you follow this route forward, it’s pretty clear, it’s not so uncertain. The only problem is if you have these goals going forward, it’s all based on what was in your history, and it’s all mind-related. But if you surrender, then you open up to so much more than the mind. But it is super scary also at times.

And where has this surrender led you to recently?

Current Location and Work

It very much led me to where I’m now, in Scarborough, Cape Town, about an hour south of Cape Town, close to Cape Point nature reserve. It’s a very small conservation village, so there’s not much happening here and it’s just nature all around. I just find myself here in nature, the mountain behind and the sea right in front.

It’s led me now to doing a lot of stuff online. I was in Europe last year. I did a few workshops, festivals presented. But it seems to have taken me a bit online, which is interesting. And this happened just about a few months before the whole pandemic thing happened. So it’s interesting that the wisdom brought me to that even before that happening.

So you mentioned that you uncovered that much of what you were doing actually follows these ancient Taoist principles and these Taoist teachings. Can you share with us what some of those teachings are?

Taoist Principles and Practices

Let’s start with the point of… For a lot of men, and it’s actually quite more general than we think, ejaculating quite fast after starting to make love is quite a big thing. On average, lovemaking after penetration, according to a lot of international research, is around about five minutes, which is pretty short.

It is so fascinating that two and a half, three thousand years ago, there was this group of physicians in China, the Taoists, that taught these practices of breathing energy up away from the groin area into your body, spreading the energy in your body. And then you start having these multiple orgasms. You could feel tingling through your body and your head because the energy is now moving away from your groin through your body.

It expands through your body, which then leads you to last much longer in bed because it’s not spilling out of your groin area immediately. But secondly, it also allows you to feel this energy through your body. It also takes you to altered states of consciousness because now you’re going into this experience where it’s not just a five-minute experience. You can now make love for 20 minutes, an hour or hours, with energy moving through your body.

I believe all men are multi-orgasmic. They always talk about women being multi-orgasmic, but the same applies to men. So you can have these orgasms, and because you’re not ejaculating, two minutes later, you can continue making love. You can have a bit of a rest and continue making love. While if you ejaculate, there’s what they call a refractory period before you have an erection again. Now, if you practice this, you can just circulate the energy.

Yeah, I know I’m a fan of Mantak Chia and he’s one of the only writers that kind of writes about some of this stuff, or at least was. You see a lot more nowadays.

That’s right, yes. He brought it to the West. He’s still giving classes. He’s like in his 80s now. He’s still doing workshops. He really brought it home. But now there are a number of guys, many, but a few of us around the world that do these journeys with men. A few of us do these 21-day journeys. We teach people some of these principles online.

Some of us have taken it a little bit more into the future. So Mantak’s book is amazing. But it’s also kind of, I’m going to put it, quite technical. And I think it’s also that 30, 40 years later, there are easier ways of doing things now.

So if someone is coming to work with you, what are some of the misunderstandings that they have either about their own body or about how this process is going to work? What do you have to educate them in for this to be more effective?

Common Misunderstandings and Education

The first thing is that it’s possible. Most guys go like, firstly, some have never heard about it. And they’re going, ‘Well, what are you talking about? Not ejaculating every time I make love?’ So firstly, the big thing is that a lot of people don’t know about it. And they don’t realize that you lose a lot of energy by ejaculating.

But the important part, what I’m saying is that it is great to ejaculate. So I’m not saying not to ejaculate. It’s just the awareness of ejaculation. So that’s the first part is to let them understand that if you ejaculate three times a day, you’re going to lose a lot of energy. And maybe if you’re 20, that’s OK. But if you’re 30, 40, 50, 60, you’re depleting so much energy.

Maybe your correct frequency for your age may only be once a week or once in two weeks or once every three days. Just that understanding that when you ejaculate, you’re going into this ejaculation hangover period where your body recuperates. And it’s just to be aware of your body.

And then once they kind of get that, then almost the second objection then is that, ‘Wow, it will be too difficult for me. You have to be a sexual kung fu master to do this.’ And that’s not true. Anyone can do it. I’ve had guys from one journey I did last year, the youngest guy was 22 and the eldest was 70. From 22 to 70. And they both had beautiful stuff happening in it.

And you’re doing this online, I assume, since you’re working from South Africa. Do you work with individuals? Are you working with groups of people? What is the process that you’re doing?

Coaching Programs and Methods

I do a number of things. I’ve got a three-month mentorship. That’s not just sexuality. That’s on spiritual, emotional, physical, and sexuality, spiritual reality bodies, which is a more broad range, but very much focusing on the sexuality part. So that is like a one-on-one journey that we do with people. I find that really works well.

And then I have also the 21-day journey, which is very much about becoming multi-orgasmic or, if not that, at least to cure you from premature ejaculation, last longer in bed, erectile dysfunction, libido increase, all of that. And that’s a 21-day online journey, which can be either self-study or I do it with groups of like 20, 30 people, or it can also be one-on-one.

It’s daily videos over 21 days and then four Zoom calls before the start, and then day seven, 14 and 21 a Zoom call with a group of guys or one-on-one. And I find that fascinating. All of those, it’s great. The group of guys, it’s amazing how much the guys learn from each other, not just from me, because now there’s this beautiful container of learning.

Yeah, yeah, sometimes being in that group. And I think especially for men who don’t often get that opportunity to have a group of other men that are being vulnerable and raw and real with them. That can be a really powerful experience.

Yes, and I often say that to women, that I wish some of them could be flies on the wall there, because they’ll be surprised about how open and vulnerable the guys are. Men have this kind of bad rep that we’re not really open, we don’t really want to talk about stuff, but I promise you, when you create a safe space and a brotherhood circle of brothers, and it’s confidentiality, it’s a safe space, and there’s support. It’s amazing how deep the guys go and how vulnerable they are and how deep they drop into sharing and to be in support of each other.

So you mentioned your kind of world tour of following where your surrender led you to. What are some of the biggest influences on what you do?

Influential Experiences and Learnings

In 2014, when I went to South America and I ended up there for a year, I got really sick with parasites. Traditional, normal medicine, mainstream medicine didn’t work, antibiotics. It’s quite clear, I’m quite known now that doesn’t cure parasites. And eventually it led me to a Shaman in Guatemala, and I did a bit of plant medicine there.

The main part it led me to is emotional expression release. He introduced me to a lady there that we’re doing some emotions. So the emotional part has been a big part for me. I think us men often grow up, and women also, to a big extent, where it’s not cool to show emotions. We almost like, from the space here, cut off our emotional and sexual parts and we live from here upwards. And then, boys don’t cry, women are not allowed to get angry because if they get angry they are a bitch. And if men cry then they’re babies or whatever names they can be given.

So I think that was amazing for me. I had a little bit of a blocked off emotional part and expression. And when I was there and I did this work and I ended up punching cushions and lying on the floor throwing tantrums and doing hand screams and God it was amazing. My emotional body became alive and I started vibrating.

For me, that emotional expression release was amazing because I came into contact with my own emotions and my energetic body started moving. And then by doing that, also my sexual body, the erotic body can move. So I often with men also help them to not just work on the eros, on the sexuality side, but also connect with emotions because just by moving that, it also starts moving the erotic body.

India was magical. That was just learning about magic. I ended up in a place called Dharamkot, McLeod Ganj. And I ended up in a hostel there, 100 meters from the Dalai Lama’s house. I didn’t even know. A friend of mine said, oh, I’m there. I want to do some meditation. And I joined him. And the next morning I realized the Dalai Lama lives 100 meters down the road. I mean, it’s the craziest story.

And then I ended up staying there for two months in the small little village and went to some of the discourses of the Dalai Lama and the monks walking around with their robes. And I went to meditation every morning and ended up doing sacred geometry and energy and quantum studies into shamanistic studies into the heart space. Wow, that was a deep, beautiful, magical time in India.

Yeah, it sounds beautiful. I love hearing the different stories that you’ve traveled on. What would you say if somebody listening to this or watching this recording right now and they’re like, I want some of this. What is something that they could do to start helping them with their own control or however you want to call it with their own ability to be multiple multi-orgasmic?

Practical Advice for Beginners

I think the first part is to make love for longer. And the first part before that to make love for longer is almost like the quickest tip I give guys is self-pleasuring. When you self-pleasure, masturbate – I call it self-pleasuring rather than masturbate, I like the word better – when you self-pleasure is to last at least 20 minutes. So not to ejaculate within two, three minutes.

We know pornography, it’s all about ejaculation, all about the money shot. They want guys to ejaculate within two, three minutes. But the problem if you do that is then you go with a real encounter with a woman and then it’s also two, three minutes. So self-pleasuring is already a big part, to do when you masturbate to not ejaculate within 20 minutes and sometimes not to ejaculate at all and the next day just to self-pleasure again. That teaches your body and your brain and your neural pathways a different possibility.

What I find fascinating, as you talk about trance, is that when you then make love for longer with a partner, and I suppose that’s not just man-woman, whatever your sexual orientation is, if you then make love for longer with a partner, with a person, another human being, not the screen, pornography screen, but with a human being, and you can actually get into this state – and it doesn’t have to be all even penetrative sex, but to get in this whole state of like maybe for an hour moving in this – then you can really get into altered states of consciousness.

I say sometimes, where I found and met God, the universe, whatever you want to call it the most, was in deep trances or spaces of lovemaking. And I believe there’s so much of the planet that has never encountered this. Now it’s friction-based sex for five minutes and there’s nothing wrong with it. Sometimes it’s great having that and having a quickie. But there’s so much potential in lovemaking. There’s so much potential in getting to these transcendental spaces.

I always say sexuality is for almost four reasons. For procreation, making babies. Recreation, having fun. Third, health-wise, just breathing that energy up makes your organs, everything so healthy. Just having it running around, never mind if you’re breathing it up. And then fourthly, it’s deeply spiritual, it’s deeply religious. When you get into this state, wow, you realize there’s something so much bigger than you and that we’re all connected and you and your partner are connected in other realms, not just in the physical part.

Yeah, yeah, so there’s a lot, a lot to that. If somebody’s interested in trying this, is there anything they need to be aware of or like, do they need to any kind of risk they should be cautious about?

Considerations and Communication

No, don’t think so. It’s so natural. I think a big part is discussing it with your partner. This is very much a co-creation. So there’s semen retention, practice of ejaculation choice. Yes, as a man, you have to learn this stuff, but it’s so important to talk to your partner about it because women, generally speaking, have also a big attachment to ejaculation. So if you all of a sudden are not ejaculating, she’s going to either think she’s not sexy anymore or you’re having an affair or something.

So the open communication is so important because subconsciously there is a big connection there with desirability. But once you understand that, wow, this is going to lead to more intimate lovemaking for longer lovemaking, then it’s a game changer. And what I found also, and that’s been documented quite widely also, is that the heart connection between the people grows even deeper. If you don’t ejaculate every time when you do this practice, you actually have a deeper heart connection.

Plus more energy, you’ve got a lot more energy now in your body because, and you can use it for other stuff. You can transmute this energy for your business, for your hobbies, for anything. There’s so many benefits to this.

I’m trying to think about how to describe this. With your experience, can you describe to me the difference between an ejaculatory orgasm and an energetic orgasm? I assume that’s what you’re talking about?

Types of Orgasms Explained

Yes. So the ejaculatory orgasm is when your orgasm and your ejaculation happen at the same time. And then you have sperm coming out of your lingam, out of your penis, out of your cock. And the big surprise here is that most people don’t know is orgasm and ejaculation are two different things. So with ejaculatory orgasm, they are happening at the same time, but they don’t have to be at the same time. I think that’s the biggest misconception. And that’s where people go like, wow, these are actually two different things. And that you can actually have this orgasm in your body and also even in your genitals without ejaculating. That’s the big part.

The body orgasm experience is when you breathe it up, you expand the energy, then you start feeling tingling in your head, in your fingers, in your toes. Throughout your body comes more life. Your whole body becomes alive, your arms and everything. Because as you build up the energy in your groin area, it all builds up there. Energy must go somewhere if it gets so much, then it pulls out an ejaculation. But the moment you’re spreading it, you know, it’s very difficult for me to step away from just ejaculation because it’s so awesome. We all know it’s amazing. But it’s also like a two second or five or ten second experience whilst the energy spreading through your body could be for half an hour, hours, that you can feel it rising in your body.

And then there’s another step which is sort of going too much into this, but there’s also the possibility where you can actually have this almost ejaculatory feeling of an explosion through your genitals, but you retain the semen. Now, this is pretty advanced stuff in a way, but it is possible to actually have this genital orgasm, orgasm and it feels as if ejaculate comes out but it hasn’t because your body learned and you put the intention there to stop the ejaculation but you still have the orgasm.

Okay. Well, thank I appreciate you sharing that. I think it’s hard to understand what we’re actually talking about here for a lot of guys. Probably for a lot of humans, I should say. So that’s really helpful to get that perspective of what we’re actually talking about here.

Demystifying Sexuality

Sure. And for me, the big part is really for people just to know about it and then it’s their own choice what they would like to do. I’m not on a mission to persuade anyone to do it, but it’s so important for me just to demystify it. And a lot of these things, I don’t like things that get like so, you know, you have to have a guru or some such mystical language, no one gets it. I like demystifying things, making it simple so that people can understand it and then they can choose what they want to do with that.

Nice. What’s making you excited about the future?

Optimism for the Future

I’m super excited about this planet and where life is going and I may want to be one of the few that are because most people I find are pretty pessimistic. And I mean there are days that I’m pretty also pessimistic and I go what the hell. But I’m pretty excited. There’s a massive awakening happening across the planet. My book I wrote is called Jump, and it wasn’t jump out of business life. It was jump into a higher consciousness. I drop into a higher awareness and consciousness. And I think there’s a massive awakening happening around the planet. And people are moving into a higher vibration, higher frequency, more love, heart-based, more love-based.

Yes, there are the energies balancing it. Whilst this awakening is happening, also the crazy war and stuff happening. But in a way, I feel it’s almost like this is for now a balance. I believe we’re going through a mass awakening and there’s a beautiful future ahead for humanity on this planet. And not just humanity, but the rest of the… Because of humanity, their consciousness. There’s a lot of very good news for the rest of the planet also.

Yeah, for sure. If somebody wants to learn more about you, Leonard, what’s the best way for them to do that?

Contact Information

The best is my website, lenerdlouw.com. L-E-N-E-R-D-L-O-U-W.com. The website is the best because on the website the courses are there, my social media, Facebook, Instagram, links are also there. I put a lot of YouTube videos out, a lot of free content on the website also. That’s the first point of contact. Once they’re there, they can navigate anywhere.

Great, I will make sure to put all of those links out into the show notes so that people have easy access to that. Leonard, what is the one insight that you want everyone, the audience to leave with today?

Final Message

That sexuality is beautiful and lovemaking is amazing and that we arrive on this planet in these bodies which means, I don’t know, when we leave here and whether it’s 70 or 100 years, maybe we go to other places, other planets, other places where we may not have bodies, maybe we’re light beings, super advanced beings and light bodies, but we don’t have bodies.

And whilst we’re on this planet is to really enjoy the experience of the body, whether it is the food and drinking your coffee or matcha, slowly tasting it and really experiencing it rather than just consuming it. But to really live and breathe that when you enjoy that coffee the same or matcha or whatever you’re having and the same with nature and the planet around to really appreciate and experience that and to experience your body, feel your inner body and also in your sexuality part.

We come from sex, that’s how we arrive on this planet and to really be aligned and grounded in your sexuality and to really live that freely and fully.

Love that. That’s a powerful message. Thank you so much for your time today, Leonard.

Thank you, Josh. I really enjoyed that chat and thanks for your lovely questions.